It's all about compromise

They say that marriage is all about compromise. They should also tell you that wedding planning is all about compromise.

Something that was very important to me was in the wedding planning process was to make my wedding dress. It's something that I really felt like I could do and the only way I would get what I really wanted in a dress. Some of my friends thought I was crazy, and some of them thought it was an awesome idea. I'm pretty crafty, craftier than the average bear. I've been sewing for years. I don't have much experience sewing garments but I felt that given enough time I could practice a few dresses before making THE dress. I found a blog that showed another bride making her dress. If she could do it, I could do it.

I spent a lot of time looking for the perfect dress pattern. I found one that I totally fell in love with. It was a vintage pattern that unfortunately wasn't my size. I bought it anyway. I asked my friend Liz if there was a way to 'make it work'. Liz use to be a pattern maker for a designer before she moved to Philly, so she's got a little bit of experience making clothes for different sizes. She gave me some kind of equation using my measurements in relation to the measurements of the dress. It was totally confusing. Then I found an easier explanation along with pictures here . So, I'm gonna do this. I'm going to make my wedding dress. My mom keeps telling me I'm nuts and that I have no idea how much stress this is going to add to the wedding planning. I don't care what she says, I'm gonna do this.

My sister was going to be in town for a visit and I decided we should go dress 'shopping'. I feel that you only get to be a bride once why not take advantage of getting to try on as many wedding dresses as you want. My friend Liz came with us and we went to David's Bridal. The goal of the trip was to try on dresses and find aspects of dresses that I liked that I could incorporate into the dress that I was going to make. Things like color, neck line, and lace were all things I wanted to make decisions about. I tried on some nice dresses, some ridiculous ones, and one amazing dress. Then sales woman put the veil on me. Katie and Liz had the same reaction at the same time. "Oh my goodness, Sarah........". Now what do I do?!?!? The I got dressed and started talking to the girls. They both went on and on about how beautiful the dress was and how wonderful I was in it and that it made me really look like a bride. But I want to make my dress. This dress was nothing like the dress I wanted to make. Vintage feel, great cut, and beautiful fabric but not the dress I had my heart set on for the last 2 months. I started to cry. The sales woman said that she could give me a price cut on the dress if I wanted to buy it.... she didn't know about the home made dress idea. She gave me the price and my jaw hit the ground. How much? Really, that's your sale price? Yikes! I can't afford that. She told me I had a couple weeks to think about it and then the sale would be over. We talked about it on the car ride home and came to the decision that I would think about it. That, yes, it would be easier to buy a dress but its expensive and its not what I really want.

A week went by and a day before my sister was to leave town we decided to go to one more place to see what else was out there and maybe push me in one direction or the other. We went to the Bridal Salon at Macy's. They were over booked and short a sales person. The only sales girl in the place gave me a room and told me to help myself to the dresses. Katie helped me get them on and Liz took pictures. Every once in a while the sales girl would come by and ask how we were doing or comment on what I had on. I tried some sale dresses, some just for the hell of it, and some bridesmaids dresses. Something interesting happens when a dress is for a bridesmaid vs a bride.....the comma disappears and the numbers get smaller. One of the bridesmaids dresses was very similar to the dress pattern that I had planned to make. It had a lot of the same elements that originally drew me to the dress pattern. It was lacking in a few places but those can easily be fixed with accessories and the dress could be ordered in ivory so that it looked more like a wedding dress instead of a bridesmaid dress. I tried on a few accessories pulled from other dresses to get the full effect. This is it. This is my dress. I can make the things that needed to be added to the dress. The big scale tipper in deciding on buying vs making my dress was that this bridesmaid dress was under $200. Fabric for making a dress would easily cost that much if not more. I looked at the girls and said, "I'm gonna buy this dress!". Then we ordered it and while I was waiting for the sales girl to write everything up I text Gordon and my mom that I had just bought my wedding dress. They were both shocked and happy for me. Yay! This was the first 'its really happening' moment I had in the planning process. I can't wait for it to come in and I can try it on again.

I still feel bad about not making my dress. I checked back in with the bride that was making her own dress and found that she too went with another dress that was already made. I don't feel so bad anymore. I think I will make the dress pattern that I bought and wear it for some other wedding related occasion.